before you have sex with me you have to earn it
take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to drink from the stream while you sing for her. she will give you a necklace of beads. return them to me to complete the quest.
How to use “and” 5 times in a row grammatically:
A man owned a store called “This And That” and hired another man to make a sign for it. When it was finished the owner inspected the work. He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said “the space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it”
IM SO ANGRY
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
(Source: myrrhcella, via the-soul-is-eternal)
do you realize that if cas didn’t send dean back in time to intervene with john’s car buying in In the Beginning sam and dean would be riding around killing demons in a volkswagen van
Don’t know if anyone made this yet but
hol y moth er of si n
Dear Suzanne Collins,
Please write a prequel to your popular series, The Hunger Games. This prequel should involve the first Hunger Games and how the nation crumbled and came to such a low so as to allow a dictator to separate citizens into districts and demand they send their children into an arena and fight to the death.
These are the things I need to know.
Batman & Robin
(Source: spaceghostzombie, via hangingwiththeunlovekids)
(Source: ForGIFs.com, via fra-gee-lay)
Okay, tumblr, I need your help. I’ve seen things like this get thousands and thousands of notes, and I really think that this is a cause worth sharing.
This couple is an elderly couple that live in my small town in Canada’s smallest province. They both suffer from dementia and for the last 55 years, they’ve sent out Christmas cards to everyone in their neighbourhood. They’re both in a home now, and their son is doing a little project. The woman, Bev, her favourite movie is A Miracle On 34th Street, and she especially loves the part where the christmas cards come in by the hundreds. Her son is trying to get that to happen for her.
It would make this lady’s Christmas to get the hundreds of Christmas cards from all over the world. I think we owe it to this kind soul to come together and give her a Christmas miracle. If you would like to send a Christmas card, their information is;
Don and Bev Enman, C/O Summerset Manor
15 Frank Mellish Street
Summerside, P.E.I. Canada
Please reblog this and spread the word, guys. There’s also an article here x if you want to read more about them.